Bloody Nightmares #38: Up For Rent (2006)

Hooray! Another anthology! Actually despite the overwhelmingly piss-poor selection of anthologies in the Bloody Nightmares collection, I tend to welcome their arrival. For one, the short running times of the individual segments at least prevent the material from being interminably stretched (a common problem in this set as a whole), and I - being an eternal optimist - can sustain myself through an awful segment in the hopes that the next one will be an improvement. Thankfully, in the case of Up For Rent the final segment is the best by far, though considering the quality of the other two (and the surrounding story) that's not really saying much. Still, at least by having three different directors - Derek Cole, Shane Cole and Kayla Richardson - there is a minor variation on the styles on display, and unlike some other anthologies (like, ugh,  Scarlet Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest (2007)) there seems to be some attempt at building to an eventual twist or resolution in the individual segments. It's still pretty bad, but there are worthwhile bits here.

As the title would imply, these three stories (with one wraparound segment) all focus on a particular apartment. The implication is that it's cursed, though we don't really learn that from the stories. In fact, the actual fates in the individual segments don't seem to connect to the apartment at all. It's simply that a lot of bad stuff has happened there We begin with a young couple being shown around the modest location by a renter obviously aware of its troubled history. Soon we're launched into the first story.

Push concerns Cynthia Caldwell, a young female film director (her friend compares her to Almodóvar. How cute!) pushed to the edge by a suspicion that her boyfriend is cheating on her with his secretary. Haunted by the memories of her own mother's abuse, her mind rapidly deteriorates until she ends up stabbing her dude to death. Of course the bulk of her mental anguish happens in the HAUNTED apartment. But the twist is that he was never really cheating at all! In fact, he was getting her flowers and the rest was all a big misunderstanding! What a nut! 

This first story - directed by Kayla Richardson - might actually have been fairly effective, but is sabotaged by a lead performance that seems completely disinterested. Sharon Savene as Cynthia not only looks a bit like Shelley Duvall, a definite strike against her, but completely fails at showing any of the emotional damage that her character is supposed to be experiencing. Her mental breakdown becomes completely unbelievable, and her eventual insanity becomes laughable. I'd like to believe that the director was at least attempting to make a statement about the cycle of abuse, but by hanging the entire thing on the lead it never ends up coming together. A disappointment. 

The second segment is called Eye to Eye and centers on a twisted necrophiliac serial killer (a believably unhinged Derek Plonka - who looks disturbingly like Robert Sean Leonard) who is being tracked by a pair of frustrated cops. The killer is - of course - staying in the expected apartment, murdering young women and spending his time talking to their corpses (while placing plastic bags over their heads) and just generally being a total nutball. The big reveal at the end is that there's actually a copycat killer targeting the same young ladies and using similar methods, leading to a brief skirmish that leaves one of the killers dead. Which one? Guess. 

This one ends just as things are starting to get interesting, but is a definite improvement over Push. For one, it's less reliant on acting and more focused on the various scenes of murder and the investigation of the killings. There's even a bit of comic relief where the two cops accidentally stumble upon an S&M couple doing some role-playing. Shane Cole handles the direction, and it's a bit more reliant on handheld camerawork than the static camera of the first segment. It's also, unsurprisingly, a bit more grisly. There's more blood than gore in the film, but the sexual content gives this segment a bit more edge.

Wanna-Be Deadly is the third segment of the anthology, and is by far the best thanks to a healthy dose of mostly effective humor. John (Greg Ashamalla) is an office drone who spends his days fantasizing about being a memorable serial killer (these fantasy sequences take the form of a newscast where co-workers talk about how mysterious and effective he is), while his actual murders feature general disdain from the pursuing Detective Smith and being labeled as The Plastic Killer (as opposed to his preferred moniker of The Micron Murderer). This time the twist is that Detective Smith has also been killing people, and has intercepted evidence from John that suggests that some of the killings he's been accused of were committed by someone else.

Ashamalla does a terrific job as the psycho who just wants a little respect, while Ed Cole as Detective Smith brings the proper amount of smarm and dickishness to his part. Even the direction (by Derek Cole) and editing are a step above the other two entries, with small flourishes (like John's inner monologue actually being played by a second actor) working quite well. The humor skirts the line of bad taste but it works, and even the fake newscast (a thorn in my side in this collection) is a bit more palatable when presented as one of John's bizarre fantasies.

The framing story ends with the couple (having rented the apartment) fighting over possible infidelity (just like in Push!) with one contemplating a knife before the closing credits roll. Will the accursed apartment take another victim for some reason? Eh. Who cares?

As with most of the films from the mid-2000s featured in the Bloody Nightmares collection, Up For Rent looks absolutely fine in its full-screen presentation, but features the usual video glitches now common in most of the featured transfers. Much more distracting are consistent audio drop-outs throughout the entire running time of the film, which was particularly noticeable since the sound quality is otherwise quite good with most dialogue being perfectly intelligible. It doesn't kill the entire thing, but proves to be rather irritating once you start noticing their frequency. The soundtrack is all over the place, with moody ambient pieces (by Peter Stone) mixing with industrial music from the bands Bile and Exorcist.

As with all of the films in the Bloody Nightmares collection, we unfortunately are not even treated to chapter stops (which would be particularly useful in an anthology film like this), and there are no special features.

Once again the anthology format proves tough to crack as a majority of Up For Rent, despite moments of inspiration, is simply a waste of time. The creators never really sell the theme appropriately, and the first segment is so terrible it would turn away all but the most patient viewers. Wanna-Be Deadly is the gem here, but even it falls victim to sound issues despite its unique stabs (ha!) at humor and some impressive performances. Inconsistency is simply a reality of this format and while this anthology is better than some in the collection, it simply never hits the mark. Not worth your time.

Bloody Nightmares #33: Off the Beaten Path (2004)

Perhaps the only film more influential to low-budget horror filmmakers than 1999's The Blair Witch Project, which sadly convinced many aspiring directors that all it takes to make a 100 million dollar blockbuster is to run around in the woods with a camcorder, was Sam Raimi's original The Evil Dead. What these two films have in common is that they took the tools of movie-making out of the hands of the studios with their limitless resources and extravagant budgets and showed  how - with enough raw talent and an original concept - a simple group of individals with modest resources can create something raw and terrifying. Unfortunately, too many directors misinterpted these successes, instead attempting to mine their own fame and fortune by imitating, spoofing or just plain ripping off these projects. Director Jason Stephenson has at least decided to pay tribute to his obvious influences in a fairly original way, mashing elements of the two together in his abbreviated shot-on-dv horror film Off the Beaten Path.

As with Blair Witch, Off the Beaten Path begins with a group of filmmakers attempting to make a documentary about a town's local legend - in this case a murderer/satanist named Jasper Hagan in the township of Gateway, Minnesota. The three friends meet up with a local journalist, Brenda (Jessie Welsch), who has suggested that the killer might be an interesting topic to explore, though seems a little hesitant once the crew actually start heading to the property where the murders took place. Chuck, the director, along with videographer Randy find some odd satanic markings on the trees around the area, as well as an upside down crucifix, but both Chuck's girlfriend Dina and Brenda suggest turning back. Finding a tree blocking the way of the narrow road, Chuck and Randy decide to explore the three cabins on the property while Dina and Brenda remain in the truck. Soon we get hints of a malevolent force in the woods (shown in a first person Evil Dead style), and Chuck and Randy find signs of satanic ceremonies and writings. Will the force possess several members of the cast forcing Chuck to run for his life? Good guess!

I must say that Jason Stephenson starts off this film quite impressively, using the (rather tired) camcorder perspective to get some necessary exposition out of the way during the group's long drive, and then having the group encounter a jogger (Chris Prew, who is by far the strongest and most natural actor in the film) who explains a bit more about the local legend. However, once the group arrives at the restaurant (where they are to meet Brenda), much of the documentary conceit starts to get rather confusing, as they seem to want to shoot an entire documentary in a couple of hours despite setting up no interviews and having no real plan of attack. Even Chuck's attempts at "hosting" the proceedings comes off as bumbling and awkward, and the camera perspective is soon dropped for a more traditional combination of handheld documentary and traditionally shot scenes.

The tension in these scenes is also undercut by the fact that the female characters seem to get hysterical almost immediately - well before anything aside from some weird carvings in the woods have been found. Combine this with some extremely sloppy editing - and an egregious overuse of fading to black - and the film never really develops a proper rhythm. There are still some creepy images - natural when you're talking about the natural eeriness of an abandoned cabin in the woods - but a slower build to the eventual possessions would have done the film a lot of good.

After watching and reviewing 32 of the films in this collection I've become rather numbed to the amateur acting that inevitably comes with these productions, though I'm happy to say that the leads here - who appear to be improvising at least certain parts of their dialogue - really do seem to be trying awfully hard. In fact, with some more coherent editing and a willingness to retry a few rough takes some of the performances might actually be impressive, though as is there's simply too much stumbling over lines and mishandled dialogue to rise much above mediocre. Todd Hansen as Chuck might make for a lousy documentarian, but until the final scenes - where he has to emote by himself to the camera - he does a good job playing a slightly pompous and curious filmmaker. Jessie Welsch as Brenda is the biggest victim of the general sloppiness, as her big scene explaining the legend of what occurred in the woods is undone by her tripping over her lines repeatedly. It's meant to come off as natural, but just comes off as clumsy.

It is nice to see a film in this collection that attempts to develop tension and mood rather than just throwing buckets of gore at the screen, and Stephenson does do a good job of keeping the many outdoor scenes well lit, and the sound is thankfully consistent throughout. The choice to use ambient sounds instead of a traditionally composed soundtrack is also a smart one, as cheaply produced music almost inevitably betrays a film's budget and would be inappropriate in this style.

Off the Beaten Path is presented in a fullscreen 4:3 image of mixed quality. While it was obviously shot on digital video, the transfer on the Bloody Nightmares disc - which we must remember is packed with three other films - allows for a lot of pixilation. Combine this was some noticeable glitching (some of which is intentional, but some obviously not) and you get a fine, though occasionally frustrating viewing experience. 

There's actually a feature packed DVD version of Off the Beaten Path out there, but this being a Bloody Nightmares feature it's strictly bare bones. Expecting chapter stops? Too bad, sucker.

Runing only 64 minutes, Off the Beaten Path is well paced and does a good job establishing a mythology, but ends up being hurt by its inability to stay true to its own concept. While the mixing of Blair Witch and Evil Dead elements does end up creating a spooky atmosphere with some moments of genuine interest, poor acting and showy editing frustratingly undermines what good work is on display. There's some definite talent being shown here, and with a little more time and effort this could have been something interesting, despite its derivativeness. Not boring, but not worth your time.

Bloody Nightmares #1: A Candle In The Dark (2002)

Idea time. How about.. "Vampires attack Christian College"? Not bad, eh? Well, I suppose the abundance of crucifixes and holy water might lead to an "aliens in Signs" situation, but maybe these particular vampires are looking for a challenge. It beats the easy picking in Alaska. But it will be the audience who are in for a challenge in watching Richard Poche's A Candle In The Dark as they contend with bad performances, worse production values, and not even the common decency to include some ridiculous gore or gratuitous nudity to keep things interesting. For shame.

Kirstin McLaughlin stars as Sarah, a student at the Christian College who begins suspecting her trashy roommate Lilith (Alexandra Ackerman) after a series of murders on the campus. She turns to Luke (Cliff Poche) and his bible study group to help, but after retreating to Luke's house Sarah is attacked by (wait for it) Vampires and is barely saved by (*spoiler*) Lilith. They try to escape, but their car breaks down and Lilith is, um, killed somehow. Sarah runs really, really far and is cornered by the world's fattest vampire before drawing a cross with her own blood. Clever.

The story is told by Luke as he's apparently being interrogated, though his character doesn't witness most of the major events, and most of his dialogue (when you can hear it) doesn't seem to jive with the rest of the movie. Also, he's a fucking vampire. These segments seem to serve only to pad the short 40 minute running time.

Let's start with the positives. The acting isn't all terrible. Kirstin McLaughlin is competent in the lead, and Alexandra Ackerman as Lilith appears to at least be comfortable in front of the camera. The director manages to wring a little suspense out of some early scenes, and there's a dream sequence at a mausoleum that is well constructed, though is handicapped because it reminded me how I would much rather be watching Phantasm.

The rest of the film is below average even for a shot on video production. Most of the acting is just plain amateurish, particularly in the few "news broadcasts" shown and in a terrible scene where a character stumbles over the word "satanic" (and some other lines) but the results are left in the film. This sort of lazy production work plagues the whole movie, from video glitches to lines of dialogue being completely drowned out by the music. The interrogation scenes are almost unintelligible, and the lighting in most of the indoor scenes leave things dark and murky.

As mentioned, the actual idea behind the film has a bit of promise, but it plays out like an episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer devised by mental patients. When some action finally occurs in the last ten minutes, it's hampered by lame gun and make-up effects and some lousy editing. Throw in some awful comic relief from the obese campus head of security (who later manages to somehow keep pace with out lead actress in a footrace), and you have a mess of a movie. And nobody gets naked.

A Candle In The Dark is presented in what appears to be its original 1.78:1 ratio. The dark scenes feature a lot of noise, but this is likely a limitation of the equipment used during filming. This is probably as good as this film can look, which is rather unfortunate. The audio is consistently awful, with several outdoors scenes plagued by wind. The music was apparently composed by the director, and I don't remember hating it so good for him.

The best thing that can be said about A Candle In The Dark is that at least it's only 40 minutes. Developing the concept a little more, and showing a bit more vampiric action could have at least kept attention away from some of the obvious shortcomings, but we're instead left with one boring talky scene after another.

This is not a good start. 99 more to go.