Shock And Awe - The Grindhouse Experience #4 (11/28/2009)

On a chilly winter evening is there anything better than the prospect of an overnight marathon of Grindhouse cinema to get your blood moving? Of course not. On November 28, 2009 Dion Conflict opened up his Conflict Archives once again to showcase a few offbeat flicks for fans of genre cinema (and confused passerbys). At this point i'm officially a Shock & Awe veteran, having gone four for four with not a minute of sleep, but this time I had to make the sojourn to Toronto from Peterborough, Ontario by my lonesome. The pilgrimage was tough, but I made it to the door by 11:30, purchased the bottomless soda (oh sweet bubbly mistress), and settled in.

Once again big shout-outs to the permissive Fox Theatre staff and Dion for putting up with some intense levels of geekiness while running on almost no sleep.

Let's begin, shall we?

The Shape Of Things To Come (1979)

After the success of Star Wars it stood to reason that other countries would take a stab at galactic space operas, and soon low budget rip-offs started to appear from Italy (Star Crash and Star Odyssey), Turkey (The Man Who Saves The World/Turkish Star Wars), and - rather surprisingly - Canada. A few years away from Videodrome, Canada was not yet on the cutting edge of science fiction, so the choice to adapt an H.G. Wells work into a special effects filled space epic might have seemed rather odd. Even odder was the choice to make it awful.

Thankfully the audience were all riding a similar mental wave during tSoTtC, since when it wasn't being ostensibly weird and silly, it could almost have been a tad boring. The oddness carried things, however, particularly during a low-gravity freak-out (with characters bumbling about in slow motion) which had the crowd rolling. The real highlights, however, were the special effects which ranged from bad (the Dalek-lite baddie robots who waved their arms ineffectively) to worse (models featuring less detail than the Star Wars lego kits I had as a kid).

The cast is full of stalwarts, including a shockingly young Nicholas Campbell (Da Vinci's Inquest), Barry Morse (The Fugitive), and a slumming Jack Palance as the evil, giant hologram loving Omus. A "cute" robot named Sparks is shoe-horned in, but I wouldn't be expecting any action figure in the near future. Entertainingly bad, and an ideal film to kick off the evening.

Mystery Film (1988)

Breaking from tradition, the mystery film went second and this time it was a doozy. In fact, this film could have served equally well as a main event, and was the first mystery film that I had actually seen previously. Now, i've been sworn to secrecy to the identity of the film, but I can say it's directed by a well known genre filmmaker, is a drug addiction allegory, has some great steadicam work from Street Trash's Bruce Torbet, and includes a mindblowing fellatio scene. I think the print was slightly cut from the DVD edition that is available, but it was good, gory fun that the crowd ate up.

Supergirls Do The Navy (1984)

And it's pornography time. As you may recall, at around the halfway point of each Shock & Awe the audience is treated to some classic hardcore porn, which has ranged from the comical (Danish Pastries), to the rather icky (Sensations), to the occasionally offensive (Mona: The Virgin Nymph). This time we're treated to a nautical themed fuck-fest featuring three nubile nymphets doing time on a submarine for extra credit. It's all played for laughs, with the "actors" throwing themselves into their performances enthusiastically, and starlet Taija Rae earning her paycheck by sucking and fucking anything that wasn't bolted down. Party favors were distributed and the audience was instructed to blow anytime that sea-men (nudge nudge) appeared on-screen. My attention started to waver during the final twenty minutes, but there were enough amusing moments around the fornicating (and a few during it) to keep myself focused.

Satanik (1968)

Based on a French comic by Max Bunker, I was half expecting Satanik to follow the pop art stylings of Mario Bava's Danger: Diabolik, but instead received a rather plodding Jekyll and Hyde variation which showed little of the energy of its comic book origins. Magda Konopka plays the scarred Marnie Bannister, who murders her colleague after he devises a way to regenerate tissue in animals - with the side effect that it makes them a tad homicidal. I guess that since she's pretty murderous from the start means that it doesn't really bother her. After her transformation into 60s hotness, she gets involved with all sorts of criminal wheelings and dealings while the police try to track her down. A great soundtrack from Manuel Parada keeps things from grinding to a halt, but it's lacks much oddness or camp and Bannister's eventual fate is a tad lazy and predictable.

Bamboo Gods & Iron Men (1974)

A nice surprise in the blaxploitation/kung-fu genre, Bamboo Gods & Iron Men features a very similar pedigree to the minor classic T.N.T Jackson, also co-written by (and featuring) Ken Metcalfe, produced by the prolific Cirio H. Santiago, and co-starring the late Filipino comedian Chiquito who gets to do a lot of the heavy lifting in the fight scenes. While that film got a lot of mileage out of the lovely Jeannie Bell, this one is all about boxer Cal Jefferson (the surprisingly charismatic James Inglehart) who, after purchasing a statue of Buddha in which some baddies have hidden an ancient Chinese secret, gets caught up in their murderous attempts to get it back. Chiquito plays his little mute Asian buddy who devotes his life to him after Cal saves him from drowning. The choreography is less than graceful, but this is a fun action outing that never takes itself too seriously. There's probably a little too much lame comic relief, but it's energetic and features some good performances from the leads. And it came at the best possible time, as it was hitting 7 am and even the most hardcore of us were starting to drift.

Of course, there's no drifting allowed during..

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

When it comes to TCM it's really all been said, but in my drowsy state what really jumped out at me was the quality of the sound-design in the film, and not just those memorable camera flashes in the opening. In a film where things are generally implied rather than shown, the sound effects (and unsettling score) provide plenty of horror - from the satisfying THUNK of hammer hitting head, the skittering of spiders in a web, to the buzz of Leatherface's trademark chainsaw things were obviously lovingly compiled for maximum creep factor. And Marilyn Burns performance is still astounding, her screams basically becoming the film's soundtrack for the last twenty minutes. Still a masterpiece, and it makes Tobe Hooper's eventual filmography that much more depressing.

Also included were trailers for Drum (1976), D.A.R.Y.L. (1985) and The Teacher (1974) as well as various odds and ends between the features.

Perhaps the most consistent line-up yet, Shock & Awe remains (as always) a communal experience for fans of trashy, cult and rare films. As we staggered into the cold air, the remaining crowd having run the gauntlet together, there was a shared sense of excitement and relief to go forth and spread the word of what we had seen. Maybe not a spiritual experience, but still appropriately religious for a Sunday morning. Highly recommended, and i'm already looking forward to the next one.

Capsule Review: All The President's Men (1976)

The blueprint for modern journalism films, the story of Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward's uncovering of the Watergate scandal remains startling, thrilling and intelligently constructed. Committed to recreating recent history, the film relates one of history's most mind-bending accounts of corruption with exact detail, but also finds room for humor – particularly in the interplay between Woodward and Bernstein (Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman respectively) and Jason Robards as their grizzled editor at the Washington Post. Directed ably by Alan J. Pakula, the acting and production design is uniformally excellent, and it immortalized the character of Deep Throat (Hal Holbrook), who would be parodied endlessly afterward.

Capsule Review: 12 Angry Men (1957)

Previously filmed as a televised play in 1954, Sidney Lumet was able to bring some unique cinematic technique to the story of 12 jurors coming to a decision on the guilt or innocence of a youth accused of murder. His camera slowly zooms in, creating a claustrophobic, sweltering atmosphere ably assisted by the heat-wave hitting the city in the story. Henry Fonda is Juror #8, who stands up to overwhelming scrutiny in defending the young boy, but begins to tear the defense apart when the group begins to examine the evidence a little more closely. Packed with memorable moments, most notably Fonda pulling out a switchblade knife and embedding it in the jury room table, it also features terrific performances from a variety of recognizable faces – particularly Martin Balsam (as the foreman), E.G. Marshall (as a juror focused entirely on logic and facts), and the brilliant Lee J. Cobb as the embittered nemesis to Fonda's crusader.

Bloody Nightmares #16: Hip Hop Locos (2001)

Hip Hop Locos is one of the worst films I've ever had the displeasure to see.

I know bad. Christ, I wouldn't have made it this far into the Bloody Nightmares collection if I didn't at least have a high tolerance for low (or no) production values, amateurish acting, and non-existent special effects. I take that sort of thing in stride because I love genre films, and I get excited watching young filmmakers try to pull something together with little more than a few friends and a can-do attitude (and a DV camera). However there's always the possibility that I could run into something that even my sympathetic nature can't tolerate, that can't even be properly laughed at because it crosses the line from badness to being just plain irritating. I'm wracking my brain for even one redeemable thing about the film, and the only thing that comes to mind is that at 70 minutes, at least it's mercifully short. Cold comfort for anyone who even considers watching this abomination.

Unodoz and K10 (played by Unodoz and J10) are a couple of young Latino gangbangers who come up with a plan to set their hip hop careers in motion: kill a bunch of drug dealers + sell the stolen drugs + ? = PROFIT! They jump to action by talking at the camera, then driving around, smoking pot, talking to the camera, calling someone on a pay-phone, talking at the camera and then occasionally stabbing someone. They follow the stabbing with more talking at the camera, usually about how great it was to stab that person, and how they want to drive around, call someone, and then stab someone else. Rinse and repeat, and throw in some awful video and vocal effects for good (bad) measure. There is literally five minutes of plot stretched with endless, seemingly improvised dialogue (Homes.. Homes... Homes homes homes homes homes homes) interspersed with grainy black and white footage that is headache inducing.

I can't even imagine how this film even managed to scrounge up this level of distribution as it looks like something put together over a weekend to entertain (??) some friends of the cast. Oddly, despite the title and central plot, there isn't even any Hip Hop music on the soundtrack; just the occasional synthesizer beat behind awful, repetitive dialogue notably featuring the words “homes!”, “la raza!” and “eh?” in various combinations. At a couple of points Unodoz attempts to freestyle a portion of the plot, which only convinced me that he must have some sort of learning disability to come up with such weak rhymes. At a certain point I actually thought I might be going mad, as scenes began to blend together and repeat in a weird haze of cheap video effects and murky driving footage.

Photography is strictly a point and shoot affair, with minimal editing. Barely visible color footage of our two intrepid heroes gives way to black and white footage of them wandering around in the dark, usually repeating the dialogue that was said in the previous color footage. Often scenes stretch far beyond their breaking point, most notably in a strangulation scene which lasts for an eternity as one of interchangeable “locos” tells the other to “choke him!”. Sound is generally clear, but i'm not sure that's a benefit.

Mill Creek/Pendulum Pictures didn't even include chapter stops for this one. Even by their low standards, this is by far the worst thing i've seen in this collection.

I don't usually like to warn people away from films, as I realize when it comes to badness that quality becomes a very subjective thing. However, I feel confident in saying that there is no way that any reasonable person would get even the smallest bit of entertainment value out of Hip Hop Locos. The credits feature director Lorenzo Munoz Jr.'s name over and over in likely the most misplaced show of ego the film world has ever seen. Fucking awful.

Capsule Review: There Will Be Blood (2007)

Paul Thomas Anderson’s loose adaptation of Upton Sinclairs “Oil” proves to be a vast, welcome departure from his previous films. We follow the career of Daniel Plainview (the absolutely staggering Daniel Day Lewis) as he builds his oil drilling business along with his adopted son H.W. The gorgeous cinematography rewards viewers who may balk at the sometimes slow pacing, but the shots of sudden, intense violence and anger are all the more effective because of it. A great film, and one that shows a surprising maturity from one of America’s most interesting filmmakers.

Capsule Review: Rushmore (1998)

While Wes Anderson first made a strong impression with his quirky crime film Bottle Rocket, it was his next film that firmly established his unique cinematic vision that he would continue in his following films. Jason Schwartzman stars as Max Fisher, an unpopular student at the prestigious Rushmore academy who flunks out after spending more time on extracurricular activities than his studies. He strikes up a friendship with cynical businessman Herman J. Blume (Bill Murray) with whom he eventually battles for the affection of a beautiful teacher (Olivia Williams). As with his other films, Anderson shows a lot of affinity for the oddballs and outsiders in his film, populating his world with colorful characters and a soundtrack of 60s British rock that punctuates sometimes anarchic scenes. Most entertaining are Max's plays – odd pastiches of films like Serpico and Apocalypse Now – and the central performances; particularly Murray who shows off a dramatic ability that would serve him well in later roles in Lost In Translation and Broken Flowers.

Capsule Review: Boogie Nights (1997)

A sprawling epic about the porn industry directed by a young filmmaker making only his second feature, Boogie Nights could have easily been a disaster, but Paul Thomas Anderson has an almost supernatural sense of setting and creates an emotional and original masterpiece. Based loosely on the life of John Holmes, we follow the burgeoning career of the impossibly endowed Dirk Diggler (Mark Wahlberg) who rises to stardom during the golden age of filmed pornography, welcomed into the family fold of director Jack Horner (Burt Reynolds) and his stable of actors and production people. Filled with memorable set pieces and supporting performances – particularly John C. Reilly as the hilarious Reed Rothchild – it's Anderson who tells the complex story with pizazz, featuring long steadicam shots and scenes filled with improvised dialogue. Brilliant.